


Better Than My Love

by adavison



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27813001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adavison/pseuds/adavison
Summary: Severus tries to let go.
Relationships: Petunia Evans Dursley/Severus Snape
Comments: 11
Kudos: 15
Collections: Pen15 is Mightier Prompt Exchange 2020





	Better Than My Love

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [We Can Be Heroes (If Just For One Day)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26631652) by [meditationsinemergencies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meditationsinemergencies/pseuds/meditationsinemergencies). 
  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [Pen15isMightierPromptExchange2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Pen15isMightierPromptExchange2020) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> The Gaslight Anthem created such a harrowing story when they wrote "Bring It On" off of American Slang. Below are the lyrics. 
> 
> I have no preference of characters or pairings. I just believe this song could inspire a beautiful, albeit maybe sad, piece of writing. Due to the nature of the song there would probably have to be a level of infidelity, but also not necessary as it could simply be about the trials of marriage later in life and one character struggling with the idea of "What if?" Whatever route is taken will be stunning I'm sure.
> 
> \--
> 
> "Bring It On" by The Gaslight Anthem
> 
> My queen of the Bronx  
> Blue eyes and spitfire  
> I saw you walking back and forth about another boy  
> Thinking that you may want to leave  
> So give me the fevers that just won't break  
> And give me the children you don't want to raise  
> And tell me about the Cool, he sings to you in those songs  
> If it's better than my love, then bring it on  
> And take it back out to the streets where you know you used to be  
> For the Romeos uptown, if I bring you down  
> And you're tired of those vows  
> And you're really walking out  
> So give me the fevers that just won't break  
> And give me the children you don't want to raise  
> And tell me about the Cool, he sings to you in those songs  
> If it's better than my love, baby, bring it on  
> Oh, bring it on  
> Stop clicking your red heels and wishing for home  
> I'm hearing that he tells you he can read your palms  
> Is he better than my love? (better than my love?)  
> Is he better than my love? (better than my love?)  
> So I found the letters with the reasons to things  
> You've been feeling that he says they'll never know  
> And you say the night just got too cold  
> Well, everybody's cold  
> Who's gonna keep my baby warm  
> When everybody goes?  
> So give me the fevers that just won't break  
> And give me the children you don't want to raise  
> And tell me about the Cool, he sings to you in those songs  
> If it's better than my love  
> Well, then wait a minute, wait a minute  
> (Wasn't I good to you?)  
> Wait a minute, wait a minute  
> (Wasn't I good to you?)  
> Wait a minute, wait a minute  
> (You don't know what's good for you)  
> So give me the fevers that just won't break  
> And give me the children you don't want to raise  
> And tell me about the Cool, he sings to you in those songs  
> You've been my baby for so long, come on, bring it on  
> Oh, bring it on  
> Stop clicking your red heels and wishing for home  
> I'm hearing that he tells you he can read your palms  
> If he's better than my love  
> If he's better than my love, then go on, take it all
> 
> This prompt instantly made me think of [We Can Be Heroes (If Just For One Day)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26631652\)) by the lovely and talented [meditationsinemergencies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meditationsinemergencies/profile). I couldn't not write Severus' thoughts after Petunia kissed him goodbye and left to go start her life with Vernon. If you haven't already read that fic, stop what your doing and read it now! It will honestly help in your understanding of this little fic.
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR and associated publishers. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended. The comments and opinions expressed by the original creator do not reflect the views of the author of this transformative work.

Severus could feel the rough bark of the old gnarled tree biting into his fingertips, pressing their way under his nail beds that he had bitten to the quick. The pain was grounding in a way. He had yet to perfect his Occlumency shields, so hiding behind carefully constructed barriers in his mind wasn’t an option. The dry tree bark would have to suffice. 

The taste of her after-dinner tea—chamomile, slightly oversteeped, no milk or sweeteners—had turned to ashes in his mouth. He doubted that he would ever see her again. And if he did, it would mean that things had turned bad in his world, so bad that they spilled over into her’s. 

All Severus wanted to do was go to her. Chase after her, pull her into his arms, and protect her from the world that so far had been more than unkind in so many ways. To the world, she was plain, less than ordinary, not worth their time or attention, good for only one thing. They had told her this in subtle ways all of her life, just as they had said the same to him, but in more overt tones. However, to him, she was extraordinary. 

There was no other way to put it. She was giving, so giving of herself. She gave up everything she wanted, everything she dared to hope for to be the submissive little chit they expected her to be. And still, she had shared what little she had, had given what little she had to him. Her food, her time, her kindness. Sure, it never appeared that way on the surface, her kindness—she hid it well as any Slytherin would—but it was there if you knew what you were looking for. 

He loved her, and would probably always love her, but she had chosen someone else. It was yet another example of her giving of herself. She held very little feelings for the man other than repulsion and frustration. But it was what was expected of her. This man came from good stock; he had a good job; he could care for her. Severus could offer none of those things. Not even with Lucius’ connections. Even if he became a favourite of The Dark Lord and had all the status and power he desired, he could never provide it to her. 

She felt as though she was doing what was necessary. She knew there would be no love between her and that man and yet she told herself—had utterly convinced herself—that the semblance of Vernon’s affection was so much better than anything Severus could give to her. 

One by one, Severus forced himself to let go, let go of the future he had envisioned with her, the modest yet beautiful home, the children they wouldn't fuck up because the two of them would have learned from their parent’s failures, the time to grow old and possibly even happy together. He let it all slip through his fingers like sand through an hourglass. She had chosen. It was time to move on. To learn to live his life without her.


End file.
